Negative communication isn’t just disappointing it’s damaging to your relationship and relationships You might not recognize that damage in the heat of argument but your 24hr/7day week on board Brain definitely does.
If you’re arguing yelling and fighting constantly you’re sending messages to each others brain that this is’nt a safe place and fear is prevalent. Our brains are always scanning the environment for threats.
We become couple’s for lots of reasons but the big reason is protection and security. Harsh continual arguing does not keep us together or make us feel protected, rather sparks the fright flight mechanism we all have. You move further apart from your partner because fear drives you away.
So what to do…Time to consider a new approach one which will encourage safety and pull you together instead of drive you apart.
Soothing messages and communication habits speak to safety and security and the desire to be a functional caring and loving couple. This pulls the two of you together in a secure coupling.
Transformation is uncomfortable and couples seeking help need to roll up their sleeves dig in and weather the storm and then it can pass when two people understand and really listen to each other.
Warmly,
Zev
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