Same old same old. Same crap different day. As a couples therapist I have witnessed couples who are stuck in a highly developed Status Quo with the dials set on very unhappy. You can think of it as your Relationship Status Quo (RSQ). Your RSQ can be favorable or unfavorable. I have been married 29 years and believe me our relationship was stuck in a mutually non rewarding RSQ.
One persons status quo can be quite formidable A couple’s status quo is ferocious…. unyielding comfortable and not easily penetrated. Status quo is a third wheel in the room and it is needy, hungry for nutrition (remember Packman?). It feeds off of your relationship. It’s a parasite and most of all an enforcer. No rocking the boat here….change will not be tolerated.
We need to stop sustaining the status quo by enriching our relationships with mutually fulfilling activities and interactions.
Some of you like me might want to scream loudly or silently as millions do each hour of each and every day. A negative lingering RSQ can have its negative consequences on your marriage. Loud and silent screams translate into affairs, addiction, road rage, cyber-porn, depression, web affairs, health issues and more. Some of us just get used to low expectations. As if happiness and joy are out of your reach. You have a choice and you can choose to improve and be a healthier couple. You can increase your expectations and you can fill your marriage with re-discovery. You both can explore, play and experiment. The world is your playground so plan pleasurable experiences like going out. Play with each other. And touch each other. To Improve your Relationship Status Quo is your mutual responsibility. You both will be the direct beneficiaries.
-Zev
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