Life and married life have a way of dripping one day… month….. year into another. What happens without at least a little expectations management can often turn out like the finger-paint picture we did as children. The pictures were fabulous with lovely lines and brilliant colors going round and round and all over the place. They were masterpieces.

But a marriage conducted without a bit of joint planning and expectations management can often result in confusion and disappointment. This turns marriage into a status quo which reacts harshly to negative issues which emerge rather than a power of two enterprise which is proactive and mutually gratifying. Sounds easy enough to do a little planning for eventualities. Not always so easy.

So why don’t we find many married couples conferring pow- wow style about what’s going on with each other, what each partner could do to contribute and improve the marital climate. Many marriages find great difficulty in even mentioning expectations for fear of condemnation, hostile flare ups and it’s messy consequences. And you know what…. Who can blame them. If quiet keeps the household peace well disappointment is better than marital discord.

Just a suggestion here. Practice Practice & Practice. Many of us weren’t taught how to communicate our marital expectations in a way that brings relationship enhancing results. So even if the investment in communicating expectations is difficult it can reap mutually fulfilling results. It just takes practice.

So start by taking the temperature of your marriage and see if you’re meeting each other’s needs and expectations. Try to be proactive and join together in managing marital expectations and enjoying the positive benefits and outcome of your mutual effort. At least you’ll find out what’s really going on if you’re both brave enough to try.

ZEV